Reality

Trying To Collect My Sanity

Lack Of Sleep, Family, Overall Desire For Purpose, Nephews Waking Me Up, Maybe Some Changes Coming My Way

So it goes without saying that I didn’t exactly have my best sleep last night. Better yet I have to DJ tonight so it should be fun. My nephews are here for the week while family is on a trip. Lately with not working out as much, trying to stay productive, and trying to keep a lid on my own thoughts regarding life has been challenging to say the least.

On a positive note, I found out recently that I may have an opportunity to use my existing credits to potentially obtain a general degree due to guidelines and requirements being adjusted. I have to wait to find out but it gives me some hope. Right now I still am DJ’ing on the weekends. I need to try and record a mix again because last time I had issues. I’m writing more which is good but I still struggle to be consistent with everything.

As the month is almost over I have to check in with the bar to see about a tax document. This is my first time working for myself so when I do my taxes, I should be able to pay myself back the money I had set aside. This is all new as far a trying to have your own “business” even in a general sense.

I’m mainly venting here. As this blog grows in the future I hope to have more exciting and fun content like cars, firearms, and other cool things to make videos of. I guess I could be doing that already with some things but I just need to take the time to break my comfort zones.

Lately, I play Xbox, sleep, write, and before the weekend prep some music. I know you all are probably thinking “that must be nice”, but it’s not what it seems. I spend most of my time driving myself crazy by asking what my purpose in life is and at the same time trying to keep my eyes open to new opportunities that I think will benefit my future. That’s the hard part. When you are trying to do things differently you require more personal touches to life. So many people are good at “sucking it up” but I just don’t want to be that person. I’d rather wait longer and find fulfillment then potentially become cynical again. I guess either way though it will be a challenge regardless.

If for some reason I can get my degree sooner than later, at least a general one, then I will probably start looking and applying for different jobs as well as a DJ on the weekends. I figured if I can do that then I could pay off some debts and probably move out or just save. I won’t know yet until my appointment. For those of you that can relate to any of this, I hope you know that I am still just trying to figure life out like anyone else by throwing whatever at the wall and seeing what sticks. Again, purging these thoughts helps me to sort of decompress and keep my self from losing my mind.

If I can get my degree I might try and apply for the one entry-level mental health position I wanted and probably work at a hospital again. Healthcare can make you feel rewarded in regards to being apart of helping humanity. As a Christian it always made me feel closer to God and it would make me oftentimes forget stressing about anything else at least for a while. I don’t know what the future holds but I hope that my prayers for positive change are being answered. The older I get, the more often change is required for growth and happiness.

P.S. If my sentences seem wordy and lengthy it’s because I am half asleep.

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