So you are trying to get out more and you told yourself that this summer you are going to put yourself out there! Well, good for you! Much like myself, you are probably realizing that hiding in your winter cave probably doesn’t get you very far unless your goal is to become a pale vampire. Because I mean if that’s the case then, by all means, keep up the good work!
So with your bold venture, you are realizing that you might have some concerns that need to
The truth is, “ready”, you don’t! Yep, spoiler alert! It’s never that simple, but then again who wants simple? I mean clearly, the challenge is the best part right? Yeah, I know bare with me I’m being sarcastic here, sometimes dating fu**ing sucks! Shall I continue?
Dating can be a pain but it can also be enjoyable and here is how. Dating can be like anything else, it can have “filters!” Yes, you can filter as much as you need to in order to give yourself some boundaries when dating. I know, this might seem very simple but some people just don’t get it and unfortunately they fall victim to shitty dates! We all have been there.
So I give you the list…
#1. Is He Or She Already Involved In A Relationship?
Okay, deep breath, this one is tricky and for those that know me, I’m not targeting you but this one does come to mind and is something I think a lot of people really, “I mean really”, need to think about.
So many people, mainly women from what I gather from my experience, are perfectly okay with “hoping” that a man is going to leave his wife, the mother of his kids, his girlfriend, etc. for her. Ah, so romantic right? Wrong! That sh*t sounds dysfunctional! Sorry, I’m calm I promise.
This is just my opinion, but don’t waste your time trying to help someone learn how to be a good “adulterer”. Like, that isn’t a skill, sorry. There are plenty of honest and actually single people out there. Be patient, and please for the love of God, be selective! Moving on, “with a smile!”
#2. (Reread #1., Then, Focus On This) Does He Or She Give You That Warm And Fuzzy Feeling Of, “Something Isn’t Right!”
Okay, this is a big one, its called “instincts!” Yes, you have them, mother nature gave them to you for a reason. Back in the day, it was probably so your ancestor wouldn’t walk into an open field where tigers feed just to be torn to pieces. Jokes on you, their lunch was delicious, your ancestor’s lunch however, sucked!
Going on a date where you have this ungodly fear of something going wrong like “I might die or be kidnapped”, might be a red flag. Now on the other hand
#3. Did The Date Go Really Well, Well Enough To Go On A Second Date
Okay, so you finally ventured out of your house or apartment and went on that date from Bumble, Tinder(Hopefully Not Tinder), Match
With this, there shouldn’t be too much thought. If you had fun, if you enjoyed yourself, then don’t overthink it. Like most people maybe you kept the conversation really light and had a good time. Maybe you are ready to learn a little bit more and see how you feel. I’d say, its time for date number two. If it didn’t go well, or you got a lot of red flags, then maybe its time to continue on your dating adventure.
#4. Are You Having Fun With This Person (Kind Of Goes With Number 3)
But seriously though, did it go well? Your friend is probably yelling in your ear the phrase “so what happened?” But really though, do you like them? Did they seem like someone really deep, or someone kind of refreshing? Were they different than anyone you had met before? Like what are the details?
#5. Are You Doing This For The Right Reasons?
Are you dating because you want to, or because your friends and family keep complaining in your ear? Do you want to try and put yourself out there more, is it a good idea? Are you just doing this because you feel like by now you should be pregnant, married, and have a house? Why are you dating? Guys do you like them or are your friends giving you a hard time because you haven’t settled like everyone else? Dating should be something you want to do, with people you want to do it with, otherwise, it will just feel forced. You don’t want to be that “Debbie Downer” with someone who is really excited to go out with you, all because you don’t know how to either say “no” or at least, “I still need time”. At the end of the day it should be your call.
So there you have it my words of wisdom, all the way from a 27-year-old young man trying to figure out all of this “sh*t” too! You are not alone. Go out and have fun, life is short. One thing I have learned is that we will not have all of the answers, but we can have the confidence and willingness to learn how to get better at everything. We can learn how to simply, enjoy the ride.
Happy Dating You Saps 😉