There is something beautiful about fall and even late summer. Fall is getting closer and closer and although I am not ready for winter at all I am looking forward to some change. I am a summer fan at heart but I guess even I forget how beautiful the season changes can be. There is a lot not only look at but also to enjoy.
I went to my dad’s today. It is a rare occasion but I think it was meant to be. Living with my mother and stepfather my relationship with my father is well, somewhat complicated. I struggle sometimes to move on from the past and to appreciate everything that I have today. Today when I spent time with my father I realized how much I was enjoying it. We were talking about hunting and being outside and I got really excited.
Although I may be the sensitive or the “softer type”, I’m also still instinctively a man. I like the outdoors, I love firearms, ATV’s, cars, and just nature overall. I like not only working out and getting stronger, but also getting tougher too. I’m a scorpio so although I can be sweet and sensitive I can also be passionate and yet relentless. I am deep and emotional. I am dynamic, and most times emotionally imperfect.
When it comes to my father although we are different, we are also the same. We overanalyze and break things down to the bone. We get anxious, and we love firearms and cars. Oh and I guess the other thing is that we don’t take shit from anyone. I realize that now more than ever. One trait that I am proud of that I picked up from my mother and father is that I don’t fear confrontation anymore. If anything I’ve become fear itself, just with a Christian hand.
With the season changing I find myself growing. Just when I think I know how life is going to play out it always shows me how far off I really am. Life knows the surprises, and knows how much we like to guess. I think that is the beautiful thing about being human. We think we know so much simply because we are so terrified to lose control. Then again, I guess that is how God wanted us to be. That is simply how he made us, vulnerable!