Have you ever had that best friend that is always on dates? Does it seem like they never have trouble finding dates, or almost as if dates just come to them? Are they maybe just the carefree happy go lucky type? If they are and well, you aren’t, you might be asking yourself what’s the difference? You might be wondering why dating for you is hell, and dating for them is just “something that happens”.
Many of us struggle to date. Hell so much has changed in the last decade with technology and overall lifestyle. We are more connected than ever but we are also more easily isolated. Because of technology and social media we can “feel” like we are apart of a community digitally, without actually having to go out and build strong relationships. Most of us are busy anyway with work or maybe even a family. Finding time to “branch out” and try and make new friends or even date seems not only taxing, but almost impossible.
Dating is challenging because we are connected digitally but no one really knows each-other. Sure you might have made some connections through work as far as friends, maybe you have caught a date here and there, but more often than not it probably seems challenging. Maybe it is where you live. Maybe you are more in a rural area where there isn’t much around you. The population size could be small or maybe you are in a suburb where people just seem too busy to be with anyone other than themselves. Whatever the case might be dating gets hard.
If you are ever dating people who’s ages vary, that can be hard too. You might be someone that feels like you don’t relate to your own age. If you are a young man like myself you might prefer older women. Something about them attracts you. Maybe women your own age or younger just seem kind of immature or maybe even shallow. Whatever the case is you just kind of don’t click on that level.
If you are a woman you might find that men your age just aren’t mature enough! Maybe you prefer older yourself. On the other hand you could be the woman that likes a man maybe a few years younger. Maybe they just get you better and are more fun or carefree! Regardless of what end of the spectrum you and your preference lie, the challenge could be finding the right people period.
Another problem with the modern age is everyone is using apps and technology to communicate. Sure once you get the first date or number you can experience the more “human” interaction, on a first date, but even then it might seem difficult. So many people are caught up in their past relationships, or are just lost in life with work or school. Dating can be hard because everyone is walking around with so much baggage that people become so afraid to take risks, or even just make choices and run with them. Everyone is so afraid to get hurt or they think of the worst that nothing ever even happens. Some guys and women just enjoy going on dates. To some people even that would mean the world, yet others are just so afraid, or they think the person is going to want to marry them in five minutes. In many cases, myself included, we can shoot ourselves in the foot by not just taking some risks and having fun along the way. You never know what could happen if you just take a chance and put yourself out there.
Now with dating do I think you should trust your gut, absolutely. If someone makes you feel like there is something wrong or like it isn’t safe follow your gut. On the other hand if you are more excited and a little anxious then maybe you should just go for it if it is someone you kind of find attractive anyway. Again the discretion is up to you. Just make sure you keep it under 25 okay kid?
Happy dating and good luck.