Okay so we all have been there when it comes to either dating, or trying to date someone new we find attractive. This happens all of the time at new jobs, when your out on the weekends, in many places and situations. The question is, is small talk something good or bad? Should we be doing it at all or getting straight to the point? Well it depends.
When you meet someone new small talk is usually a light conversation that breaks the ice with an initial interaction. When two strangers meet, it can go one of many ways. In some cases two people meet and hit it off naturally, and other times it feels like a forced and very awkward situation to be in. Women deal with this all of the time when they get hit on in public. I’d say its just the societal norm, although forever changing, for most men to still approach a woman more so than a woman approaching a man. So again, is small talk something we should put effort into?
In most cases with a face to face interaction, I would say most certainly yes. When it comes to meeting new people that are complete strangers, its safer to break the ice with lighter general topics. You don’t know these people and everyone has their own different set of social skills. Some are very outgoing, while others might really struggle to even make eye contact. You just kind of have to gauge the situation properly based on how it feels or even based on past experiences. Even then you can be wrong because well, that is just life and humans are inconsistently perfect I guess.
In other instances I would say stay away from small talk as much as possible. For example texting. Texting although everyone’s favorite thing, can be a very tricky way of communicating. Its hard because unlike face to face interaction, you do not have body language to work with. What this means is that you do not have that vital nonverbal communication to help you out when interacting with someone new. Dating can be a delicate process especially if the person you like has had many poor experiences. In some cases if you say or do the wrong thing it can throw people off and make them put their guard up. At that point, you might be out of the game completely. Of course it just depends. Texting, despite our understanding of it and experience with it, can still be hard when gauging the tone of a conversation. I mean have you ever met someone and they gave you a compliment with a big smile and when you walked away you almost felt insulted? It’s kind of like that.
So what do you do? You want to communicate well with people but maybe you have been known to be “too blunt”. How do you know when is the right time to be straight forward, or to maybe take the long way around to get to your goal or destination? I’d say follow your gut. If it is someone you know or already have dated, maybe be a little blunt and straight forward, what do you have to lost if you are polite about it always? If it is say a stranger or someone new you are pursuing, be light at first but be efficient. Start with small talk, grab the number, and set up a date. That way you don’t have to worry about texting something stupid in between when you know the real you in person, sells itself. With dating remember to be patient and try and be honest and open. The right one will stick around. Good luck, and have fun!