Being single is something some people brag about while others try and avoid during conversation. The topic of being single has different categories including age, duration, and gender for example. If you are a young man woman, transgender male or female or identify as anyone else that I haven’t mentioned, being single is probably what people would say is a good thing. If you are a young college student many people probably say that you should focus on yourself and having fun. If you have had high school relationships and heartaches, now is the time for you to be carefree. You can find yourself and have fun and do what you want without being tied down.
Being single is good because it means that you aren’t needy. You are okay with not only being yourself, but relying on yourself. You know how to enjoy the moment and live life with the highs and the lows. You are forced to take the good with the bad and process your feelings without any quick fix or interference. You can be social but you understand there is more to life than only being involved in relationships. Friends and family are great but you are stronger than most simply because you know how to be alone.
When it comes to being alone I cannot help but to have some bias. I as a male feel that a lot of men themselves are good at being alone. Men are good at taking their childhood toys and experiences and turning them into adult hobbies and passions. Men I feel have strong camaraderie with their friendships and build loyalty through bonding activities. They learn to work together and have a deep connection kind of like family. Women on the other hand I feel have more superficial relationships. Starting in high school women have more friends in numbers, but fewer close friends or deeper relationships. As they get older they begin realizing that there aren’t many friends they can rely on, and once everyone starts getting married or having children those that do not kind of get left behind. Basically because the relationships and their bonds are not really strong they fall apart later on, versus a lot of male friendships and relationships. You can argue this of course in many different ways, again this is my opinion.
A benefit to being single for a long time is that hopefully you are picky. You know who you are and what you want out of life as well as the people in it, because you took the time to figure it all out. You struggled, you felt alone, you may have felt neglected, you know pain and how to get through it. You realize how strong you really are and how special. You understand that quality relationships are better than immediate one’s. A slow burning flame can keep you warm for a long time but a quick blaze can scorch you. You understand that.
The best thing about being single is that you are ready to date. You know how to be alone and you have already found yourself. You didn’t jump so you can look someone in the eye that you are attracted to and say “I want you!” You can say it with conviction! You can tell them that you are willing to try and take the risk to see what happens. You can easily tell them that you would rather try and fail so that you know and can stay or move on, than regretting never trying at all. Life is short and putting your mind at ease before you sleep by knowing you took chances and expressed how you felt, is something not everyone can say. There is a certain peace in that. You can rationalize more of your life and relax a bit more than others.
Whether you are the “recluse” or the “relationship jumper”, or somewhere in the middle, I am not judging you. It is hard out there. Life is difficult and not everyone is dealt the best hand. Some really struggle and some struggle even when they have had a good upbringing. Humans are irrational creatures with rational brains. We are a mess sometimes but we do the best we can. No one is perfect and trying to be our best and do our best is what we can do. Trying to learn and understand the purpose of life and the people in it are our forever going project. Its a learning experience, and thats okay!