Why dating someone your mental age can be better than dating someone your actual age


Dating is fun and exciting when you meet the right kinds of people.  I would say most of us when we think of dates we choose to remember and focus on the dates that went well.  We all have had our share of bad ones but I feel most would say the good dates outnumber the bad.  There is some question or debate that comes to mind regarding age.  Everyone seems to have their opinion on what age works or how much of an age gap a couple can have before it ends up being too much.  I’m sure someone at some point told you he or she is just too old for you or maybe even too young.  I’m sure at the time if it was someone you were really attracted to it was hard to deal with.  Maybe you are going through it right now.  So how much is too much and who and what should we listen to?


If you are a man or a woman you know that gender roles and norms in society vary.  For example in my opinion it is very common place in society for a couple to consist of a younger woman and an older man.  In some cultures or relationships it is the opposite!  Although preference you would think would be the main key, culture itself might have more of an impact on the decision itself.  For some it is the opposite of the norm that is preferred or desired.  In many cases it is what works.


Dating someone older than you can be a positive.  For example if you are a guy who prefers women older than you, either a few years or more, you probably have a reason for it.  The main reason I would say is because of maturity.  Men I know that like older women including myself, find it attractive. Dating a woman who has lived long enough to know what she wants is very welcoming.  Women who are older tend to appreciate men that work hard and treat them well.  On the contrary young women can seem to be more indecisive or date guys that maybe aren’t so good for them.  I think it is just a matter of maturity or upbringing.  Everyone is different and by all means these circumstances can vary based on the people themselves and their own lives.


Just as men can prefer older women for maturity, I find that is exactly why younger women date older men.  I think some younger women are into dating and want a relationship.  If they are mature for their age, their mental age might be equivalent to that of a man a few years older than them.  On the contrary it could also be because the man is immature for his age and therefore relates better to a younger woman.  This can be the same for older women dating younger men.  It all just depends.

Like anything in life finding what is best for you should be the priority.  Doing what everyone else thinks a lot of times can one, get you in to trouble, and two maybe be something that puts you in a situation that you don’t want to be in.  Pressure can come from many angles and advice can sometimes turn into someone’s vicarious motive.  Like I say question everything and think for yourself.  Take advice but be careful where you get it from or who you listen to.  I’ll say it again even I’m someone who has my own opinions.  What is best for you needs to be what works best for you in the end.


The only way to find what you want is to explore for yourself.  Just like job hunting or soul searching you learn by trial and error.  Date different types of people, network and see what you like and don’t like.  Do be careful with who you let in especially if you do not know them at all.  Don’t be afraid to maybe date out of your comfort zone.  As I got older I took my mother’s advice and dated more in general even if the woman wasn’t my ideal type.  I ended up having a lot of fun and still do today.  It helped me to learn about different kinds of people and to meet women from all walks of life.


When you listen and learn from others and their life experiences you find a lot of understanding within your own life.  You get to figure out what you want or maybe what you are willing to let in, versus what not to.  Sometimes your particular type of date might not be what you think.  You may have the person right in front of you but you just don’t see them because you are always searching for something else.  Be honest with yourself and others and experiment.  I think you can find what you are looking for especially if you refuse to give up.  Patience is key, and having fun while enjoying life is what should matter.

Sometimes you just have to role the dice and see what happens!

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