Happy new year, its 2018 yay! A lot has changed right? Has dating changed? It sure has! Is that a good thing? I mean sure it is, well sort of. It kind of is. OK, this is difficult I’m not going to lie.
Dating sites and apps make it so quick to get in touch with people right? So does that mean dating is easier and things are going well? Not exactly. I mean depending on who you ask your luck might be way up there or almost non-existent. So whats the problem here? Well I’m glad you asked.
Dating has stood the course of time. Although we would like to consider it this noble passage and journey of finding love, the reality of it is that dating has lost some of its luster. Yes I know I’m supposed to be the positive one here, but lets be real. Dating kind of sucks these days and well, thats ok.
So why does dating seem similar to a root canal? Well for one it can be just as painful, and if your a guy, probably just as expensive. I’m going on a date soon mind you so the irony here is kind of funny. She will probably read this tomorrow and be like, “really?” No worries though, she is really cool and I can assure you she is probably not the type causing the problem here. So who and what is responsible?
Well believe it or not, its technology. Technology combined with people skills that we should be learning but aren’t forced to anymore, is the issue. Reading body language, building confidence, learning manners and chivalry don’t always have a purpose in the forefront. They are very important don’t get me wrong here, but they are being forgotten. Some of the old ways are being lost and its not really a good thing.
Nowadays people can get all dressed up and look perfect. They can use snapchat filter, or adjust the hue of the color in their background on Facebook or Instagram, so that its just right. They can make everything look perfect and at the same time communicate from a distance. People who really don’t know each other are non-verbally communicating and it makes for a lot of mixed signals. We have become more creative for sure but we also have become somewhat more shallow. We can appear superficial or be drawn to superficial things and people. The main way we are communicating makes it hard to scratch past the surface. Whether you are a man or woman, with technology we stay on the surface where its safe.
Now sure you can argue everything I’m saying. I mean hell the date I’m going on is with a woman I didn’t know. I messaged her on Facebook and broke the ice. We texted and got to know each other a bit and agreed to me up for a date. Now we are going out again. It can work but what I’m saying is that without the social element or social skills, things might not end up going anywhere. I have met some people who really struggle to hold conversations or even look someone in the eye. The most attractive people physically, as we know are usually some of the most insecure and vulnerable. Its kind of sad. People out there are really struggling with things they just can’t seem to voice. Men and women equally are trying to show the world their worth but are struggling to send the right message clearly.
You don’t have over think everything. A lot of people do it all just for fun. There is nothing wrong with that. Technology exists and we are supposed to use it to make life easier, and to have more fun with each other. I just want people to keep in mind the things that truly matter. Quality relationships and friendships are the most important. We all like attention here and there but being aware of ourselves and our actions can keep us humble. It keeps us whole. When we focus on the important qualities in life we can attract the most amazing people. We can draw in the good and filter out the bad. We can live our lives to the fullest and never have to look back! Happy dating and of course, happy living!